Temple Summons and My True Feelings

“Tuuli, your needle.”

“Oh, sorry about that!”

I realized my needle had paused only after being called out on it. Quickly, I resumed stitching, but my movements were shaky. Something was weighing on my mind, causing the thread to quiver.

Is Myne okay?

I worried about my little sister. She had said she wanted to become an apprentice shrine maiden at the temple to read books. That had instantly made Mom and Dad very mad which really scared me.

Today, Myne had gone to the temple to reject the apprenticeship. But would she really be able to say no? Myne had worked so hard with Lutz just so she could read books. I spent the most time with Myne in our family, and I had seen her get back up again and again after her many failures. Her love for books was intense. Could she really give up a place full of them?

“Tuuli, is something the matter? What’s on your mind?”

Laura and Rita, my fellow apprentices, looked at me with worry during lunch. They could tell I was different today without me even saying anything.

“Um…”

I was at a loss for words. Maybe it was the distance between our house and the temple, but I had never known anyone who wanted to be an apprentice shrine maiden. So I couldn’t understand why Dad was so angry.

I knew it wasn’t a place for children with parents, and that it wasn’t a place people talked about openly…

I turned to Laura, tilting my head slightly as I asked her, “Laura, do you know of any kids who have ever gone to the temple?”

“We all went there when we were baptized. We’ll go again for our coming of age, and then for our weddings as well.”

“No, that’s not what I mean… I heard that kids without parents go there, but I’ve never heard of anyone who actually has.”

“Ahh, I understand,” Laura said, lightly clapping her hands as she puffed out her chest with pride. It seemed like she knew something. “It’s not talked about much. When parents pass away, their children might go to live with their relatives. And if they have no one but are already baptized, they could become live-in apprentices.”

“Oh, so you mean…?”

“Yeah. It seems that only small children who haven’t been baptized are sent to the temple’s orphanage. A few years ago, my neighbors passed away, and my brother said that only the youngest was sent to the orphanage. If I remember correctly, he only knew this because his friend lost touch with his younger brother.”

Laura probably didn’t remember much since she had been only one or two at that time. I felt a bit relieved knowing there were children who went to the temple.

“So, the temple takes care of small children who don’t have a family. And it is a well-kept place, so the nobles can definitely afford to take care of the children. I’ve also heard stories of kids who’ve been taken in by relatives only to be treated worse than their relative’s actual children, so it might be better to be sent to the temple…”

“Tuuli, the temple isn’t as good as you think,” Rita interjected firmly, her face wrinkling slightly. When I looked confused, Rita glanced around before lowering her voice, “It seems like kids who go there never get to leave. Even when they’re old enough for their baptism, they can’t leave, and the nobles treat them harshly. It’s said that they kill people for disobeying or even just speaking up.”

“What?”

“Rita, you seem to know a lot about this stuff,” Laura exclaimed, her eyes widening in admiration. But Rita’s embarrassment caused her to look away.

“I haven’t seen anything myself. My dad works as a chef, you know? So I’ve heard stories from people who deliver goods or food to the temple or work there as chefs. You can overhear a lot when adults get drunk and have arguments.”

The story could’ve been exaggerated, but I felt there was some truth to it. The idea of being killed for just speaking up sounded very scary.

I can see why Dad got mad at Myne for wanting to go to such a dangerous place.

“Well, it doesn’t affect us since we’ve already been baptized. It’s so far north from us, it’s past where all the wealthy people live. Usually, no one would go anywhere near there unless it’s for a special reason.”

“Exactly.”

As I watched them laugh and joke, I sighed to myself. Today Myne was going to a place people rarely visited—the temple.

Now that she’s going to refuse to become an apprentice shrine maiden, there shouldn’t be any more problems… But will she even be able to refuse?

It was scary to think that she was going to such a place just because of her love for books.

Myne came back very late that day. Dad had kept going back and forth between the house and the well, even visiting Lutz’s place to see if he returned. When Karla answered she just dismissed him, saying, “You worry too much. The sixth bell just rang, so they should be back soon.”

We wouldn’t have had to worry so much if it was any other day. But today, Myne had gone to the temple. I couldn’t shake off the anxious feeling, remembering my earlier conversation with Laura and Rita.

What if Myne doesn’t come back?

Despite how long the summer days were, she returned with Lutz after dark.

“You’re late! How much will you have to make us worry before you’re satisfied?!” Dad’s words echoed our family’s concern. Mom and I also looked sternly at Myne.

“Sorry for worrying you, Dad. I went to Benno’s store and the Merchant’s Guild after going to the temple, and it took a lot of time.”

My face went pale. For Myne to have stopped at different places on her way home from the temple meant something serious must have happened.

“What in the world happened?”

“I’ll tell you everything that happened, but can I eat first? I’m hungry and there’s a lot to say,” Myne replied.

After dinner she had a determined look as she explained how the meeting went and showed us a wooden board that she told us was a summons from the temple. This time, it seemed Mom and Dad had to go too. Even though we were already shocked, Myne’s explanation wasn’t over.

She explained that her fevers were caused by mana, and the temple needed her because they needed more mana. By entering the temple, she could stay alive. She also said that Mrs. Corinna’s brother helped Myne by making it so she might be able to commute from home.

It’s good that there is a way for Myne to survive.

While I felt relieved, Dad stood up next to me. “Alright. Let’s give it a shot. I became a soldier to protect my family and our city.”

As we went to bed, Myne fell asleep right away. She seemed exhausted from her errands. Dad, too, was soon snoring loudly, probably wanting to rest early since he had a morning shift the next day.

Myne’s explanation was long, after all.

I laid awake, sandwiched between the two sleeping figures. My mind was uneasy, filled with anxiety. I tossed and turned in bed, my heart beating loudly.

I hope we can follow Mr. Benno’s advice, but…

Dad had given considerable thought to the advice offered, while Mom had a determined expression on her face. I also wanted Myne to live, and I was glad there was a solution. But my anxiety grew as Rita’s warning echoed in my head, ‘they kill people for disobeying or even just speaking up.’

Was it really safe for Mom and Dad to go to the temple? What would happen to me if something went wrong?

Negotiating for Myne might be considered disobeying a noble’s orders. If Mom and Dad don’t come home, would I have to live alone as a live-in apprentice?

I’m scared. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t go to the temple.

I wanted Mom and Dad not to go, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them.

Do they even know that the temple and nobles were dangerous?

Maybe they didn’t realize and just wanted to help Myne. But if they understood the risk, would they stay with me instead? But if they don’t go, Myne will die.

We can’t let Myne die.

Feeling overwhelmed, I whimpered softly.

Just as I felt like crying, a sound came from the kitchen. The light still on there meant Mom was awake. I quietly slipped out of bed and peeked through the crack in the door.

Mom was sewing clothes in the dim light.

Those clothes.

They were ones I got from our neighbor a while ago. They had been a little big when I received them, and originally I was meant to wear them this summer. But this year, she had used the leftover cloth from sewing Myne’s baptism outfit to make me new clothes.

Mom had said, “We can adjust them next summer to account for your growth,” but…

She was altering the clothes for next year now. Seeing that, I realized Mom was thinking ahead in case she didn’t come back. My chest didn’t just feel stuffy; it felt tight and painful now too.

I opened the door, and Mom looked up, surprised. “What’s wrong, Tuuli? Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah…” I murmured, keeping my head down, not knowing what to say.

Oh, my shoes.

Since I snuck out of bed, I had forgotten to put them on. While thinking about something so ordinary, I fought the tears welling up as I slowly approached Mom.

“What’s wrong?” Mom asked gently.

”…Negotiating with nobles… Is something like that even possible?” I asked weakly, tears overflowing. “Just speaking up could get you killed, right?”

Mom held her breath. I could see in her face that Rita was right. Mom knew that going to the temple could get them killed, but she was determined to go anyway.

“If something happens to you all, I…” I couldn’t finish, crying as Mom hugged me tightly, patting my head. But she didn’t promise not to go to the temple. Instead, she held my hand with a determined look in her emerald-like eyes.

“If we don’t come back, you may have to become a live-in apprentice.”

“No!” I cried. I knew I was misbehaving, but I had to let my true feelings out. “I don’t want to be a live-in apprentice. I don’t want you to go to the temple! You might not come back! You are only thinking about Myne… It’s not fair! Stay with me!”

I was surprised at my own outburst. It was something I should’ve never said. I was filled with fear, thinking Mom might scold me. It was a terrible thing to say when Myne’s life was at stake.

But Mom didn’t get angry. She hugged me tighter, saying, “I’m sorry, Tuuli.”

As Mom’s warmth and heartbeat comforted me, I poured out my true feelings, shedding all my frustrations in tears.

It felt as if time stood still while also flying by, but little by little, my aching heart began to calm down.

”…I truly don’t want you to go to the temple… but I also truly want Myne to survive.”

“I know.” Mom said, as she gently stroked my head, smiling.

”…Please bring Myne back with Dad. I’ll be waiting…”

Mom’s hand paused for a moment before she resumed stroking my head. She must’ve chosen not to lie to make me feel better.